AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
