If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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