Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize