May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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