Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
