the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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