Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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