Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
