guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
