Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
