after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
