You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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