Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Randomize
