I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He has the fingertips of a God
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize