so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
