He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
