I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize