Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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