i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
