if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I didn't notice because vodka
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
