i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
