READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
