kristin has been a bad kristin
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
