They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
