super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
