No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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