but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
