he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
