so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
