You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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