just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
