your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
FUCK WHALES
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize