***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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