Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize