He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
