I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
