Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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