her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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