my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
