i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize