my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
