I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
