I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Everyone says I win the strip club
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
