So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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