wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
