well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
