whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
