Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize