i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How external is "for external use only"?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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