I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
