Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize