I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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