if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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