You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
