Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
