I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
