You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
