morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
These tits shall not be calmed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
