It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize