My sheets look like a crime scene.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
