i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
